Do I tell police my husband steals money from work?

I’VE been living the high life since my husband  found a way of stealing money  from work but everything’s falling apart.

I’m 40 and my husband’s 43. Our girls are 16 and 19. We’ve been living a rich  lifestyle with new cars, a whole new wardrobe of clothes for me and exotic  holidays. We’ve done up our house and our children have money put away for  their future.
I love the shopping trips and holidays but I’m getting feelings of guilt.  I’ve asked him to stop the scam but it causes rows because he refuses and  won’t listen to sense.
He’s possessive anyway. He keeps accusing me of having someone else, hates me  texting my friends or going out to see them. I feel like a prisoner. In the  end I was so unhappy that I did get with someone else.
I’ve known this guy for years through work but we got together and had sex.  He’s 37, slim and fit, and I can’t stop thinking about him. We meet a few  times a month.
I still love my husband but I no longer want to be with him as things are. I  want everything the way it used to be and for him to stop before he gets  caught. If he won’t stop then I will end up leaving him to be with the new  man  in my life.
I’ve even thought about telling the police and facing the consequences, but I  worry what will happen to my kids.

DEIDRE SAYS

Spell it out to your husband that you’re at the end of your tether. Either he  stops the stealing or your marriage will be over because you can’t cope with  the strain any more.
Even so this is going to be like a ticking time-bomb. At some point his firm  will do an audit and he will be found out. Best for all of you if he owns up  and negotiates with the firm to start paying the money back. There’s a  chance  they won’t press charges if he’s honest now.
If he won’t listen to you, then your best course may be to turn  whistle-blower, but bringing a lover into your girls’ lives would just add  to  the devastating effect of all them, so tell him you need space to sort  out your  life.